Even if you exist wholly in an alternate reality, in a parallel realm, in a galaxy far, far away, you should vote in the forthcoming elections.
It’s important because even if you plan on never visiting us, surely there’s someone you love on Earth. Go on! Pop those opioids and pastel rainbow pills until your brain turns to Nickelodeon gunk but find time to scratch an x on an absentee ballot someone in your household magically secured for you *wink by visiting a website and completing the application. There’s still time to vote in your lumberjack jammies, apply today!
We’re pretty sure whatever juice is made from Agent Orange is brown, undrinkable and has a foul odor. Notwithstanding, let’s squash him anyways. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it like a rabbit! Make it a habit. Do it with a friend. Do it with a twin. Do it with a Richard Sherman, Jack Nicholson grin! Do it wearing sandals, smoking a Camel, tipsy off cocktail named for Stormy Daniels. We don’t gaf how you do it, just Colin Kaepernick tf out of your vote this November. That’s the only way to ensure this level of ridiculousness never returns.
If you’re over 25, you probably spend the larger part of your day wondering how society has reduced to a level of moral depravity where 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW could be on the list of sex offenders in that neighborhood. In order to return to some semblance of balance, the supposed leader has to go, it’s that simple.
The Orange Amoeba thought it was fly to bring the willy-nilly child sexing creep from Alabama, Roy thinks he’s a teenage boy Moore to the Senate and put a coke-nosed, herpes-faced piece of rotten dough on the Supreme Court. An actual white woman accused him of sexual assault and he was still confirmed…in America… cause rape isn’t just allowed, it’s a political prerequisite. If you didn’t think you were battling actual spirits and principalities before, now, there should be no doubt.
If that isn’t enough, over the next 2 years, Agent Orange has the potential to do at least twice as much damage. Republicans often boast of being the party of Abraham Lincoln and for folks that aren’t too hip on politics (LIKE US!), that could be pretty confusing to take in. Does it mean they want to support the descendents of enslaved Africans (lol) positively progress into the future. Hell nah, couldn’t even type it without an ‘lol.’
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It does mean that they’re capable of completely misappropriating our global position, enacting elitist policies, and plying the poor and middle-class with band aids. More time at the helm with a Republic majority is going to lead to more fatal groupthink politics that we frankly can’t afford. How many Erykah’s can we sacrifice to the Grassy Knoll fcol!
Does this mean that Democrats are any better for the black and brown fam? What about white women? How long are white women going to be treated as second class white people? Enough is enough! Hilary walked so they can run dammit! There was a time in America when it mattered that a white woman was assaulted and black women had to say things like ‘Well… me too… what about me?’ Today, in this post pant-suited Hilary America, white women are forced to pick up a bullhorn.
We don’t waste our time or yours pretending to not live in a country inundated by white supremacist ideology and built on the systematic oppression of black and brown people and white woman. Yep, white women… oppressed like a muthafucka. Democrats may not be any better behind closed doors. However, can we agree that in front of closed doors, Democrats are much better? At the very least child molestation and rape is out of their wheelhouse as far as we know.
Yes. You are being asked to vote for those that will support rape this November.
Not a computer game. Not a video game.